#IMWAYR April 11, 2016

'She hadn't seen the old lady in a week, and in a week, an old lady could fall through the cracks of life." Terry Pratchett (The Shepherd's Crown)

Especially since January, writing has been what keeps me sane. Whether or not is it about books, like in this blog, or whether it is more personal narrative and/or poetry, I'm so thankful that words strung together, either to consume or create, are in my life. 

It's been a rough couple of weeks, but I'm happy to be back at #IMWAYR again. Thanks to Jen at Mentor Text and Kellee and Ricki at Unleashing Readers for hosting this event where readers of kidlit get together to share what we have been reading in the previous week.

Within the span of one week, the prognosis for my mother's remaining time went from three months; then to weeks; and finally, to days. On April 9 at 12:30 in the morning, she died, surrounded by family who loved her. It was a gentle, ever so gently, slipping into that good night: a perfect end to a gloriously messy and exuberant life.

Thankfully, synchronicity played its hand by providing the just right reading material to help get me through it.

In the first week I was unable to read anything except a nonfiction title that I could do in small chunks, articles on what happens in the process of near death awareness, and poetry, glorious poetry. 

I read poetry out loud to my mother because she responded to it. Her favourite poem of all time was William Wordsworth's I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud. Mumsy knew it by heart and used to recite it to us when we were young. As I read it to her, she pulled it out of her memory to recite it along with me. Then we read Robert W. Service: The Cremation of Sam McGee and The Shooting of Dan McGrew.  These are family classics that my mother's family used to share at gatherings. Mom enjoyed Ted Harrison's illustrations of them. I read E.E. Cummings, In Just and [i carry your heart with me(i carry it in]. It was in reading this last poem that I figured out how I would survive without her.

I've had this book, It's Catching: The infectious world of germs and microbes by Jennifer Gardy & Josh Holinaty, at hand, meaning to read it since the beginning of spring break. It is one of our nonfiction book club titles. I started it because I couldn't imagine having to commit to any kind of fictional world. It turned out to be an entertaining, interesting read that fills readers heads full of information about the many different kinds of microbes and germs around us. It is loaded with many different kinds of text features. The illustrations work together with the text to make many complicated concepts easily understood. It begins by clarifying the differences between viruses, bacteria and fungi. Then it goes into more detail about different kinds of illnesses they can cause. I love the danger meter that reveals how nasty each of them can be. 

And then, what have you lost? an anthology of poetry collected by Naomi Shihab Nye arrived from the library. I've been savoring it a bit at a time. This volume kept me company during the times it was my turn to keep watch over my mother in her hospital room. I've been carrying it around me ever since I picked it up. I will purchase my own copy since I expect to be going back to it for a while.. 

When my mother was first transferred to Palliative Care, my niece, (an avid reader who works in that ward) handed me a copy of Final Gifts: Understanding the Special Awareness, Needs, and Communications of the Dying by Maggie Callanan & Patricia Kelley. I couldn't handle the idea of reading an entire book right then, but I took it anyway and checked out Maggie Callanan's website. Reading the articles under the news tab, was like reading the coles notes of the book. The palliative ward also has a prepared brochure that reflected the information from the book. It all helped me be prepared for what was coming. 

One day, while I kept my vigil, the only thing in my bag was this book, and so I started it. It is a fabulous gift. There is some biological information about what happens as people die, but it was the stories of the individual deaths that held my focus. Some of what this book taught me is that we are alive and capable of learning until we die. With this in mind, I read many of these narratives out loud to my mother. After all, I thought, it's her first time dying, and I'm sure that seeing how others have managed it will help her. When she had enough she told me, "I need to sleep now." 

Next, the audiobook CD, The Shepherd's Crown, Terry Pratchett's final novel, and the last Tiffany Aching tale, was ready for pickup from the library. As soon as I loaded it into itunes and onto my phone, I started listening to it. For me, this was the perfect novel at this time in my life. Right from the get go, when Death comes for Granny Weatherwax, I knew I would find comfort in this book.

"Thank you," said Granny, "I did my best."

MORE THAN YOUR BEST, said Death. AND I LOOK FORWARD TO WATCHING YOUR CHOSEN SUCCESSOR. WE HAVE MET BEFORE.

‘She’s a good witch, to be sure,’ said the shade of Granny Weatherwax. ‘I have no doubts whatsoever.’

YOU ARE TAKING THIS VERY WELL, ESME WEATHERWAX.

It's an inconvenience true enough, and I don't like it at all, but I know that you do it for everyone Mr Death. Is there any other way?

NO, THERE ISN’T, I’M AFRAID. WE ARE ALL FLOATING IN THE WINDS OF TIME. BUT YOUR CANDLE, MISTRESS WEATHERWAX, WILL FLICKER FOR SOME TIME BEFORE IT GOES OUT – A LITTLE REWARD FOR A LIFE WELL LIVED. FOR I CAN SEE THE BALANCE AND YOU HAVE LEFT THE WORLD MUCH BETTER THAN YOU FOUND IT, AND IF YOU ASK ME, said Death, NOBODY COULD DO ANY BETTER THAN THAT .

While there are parts in this novel that would have been more fully developed had Sir Terry lived a bit longer, The Shepherd's Crown is still a very satisfying read. Pratchett's world is loaded full of humour, satire and humanity. His witches are community health nurses who have the capacity to use magic, but use it sparingly because it's dangerous and difficult to control.

This is a book that deals with death, grief, making amends and continuing on. It begins with the death of the ancient Granny Weatherwax. Then the young witch, Tiffany Aching, is called upon to take over her stead.

I listened to it as I traveled back and forth to the hospital where my mother lay dying. Regularly, I was forced to pull over to the side of the road to write quotes down.

Eventually, I found myself able to continue with my regular reading and completed a few more books. I finished these next two while doing an overnight vigil with Mom. 

When I was the Greatest by Jason Reynolds. 

The truth is that I love Jason Reynold's young men. They are an authentic combination of sweetness and bravado. His families, however damaged, abound with love and caring. This is a story about survival, acceptance, and growth and change. Then there is the beauty in his writing. I admit that I wondered about the cover, but as soon as I got into the book it all made sense. 

Reynolds' stories are the kind that usually, once I start them, can't put down. So I'm not sure if I stalled with this book because I came to the part where the boys are about to go to the party and I anticipated that disaster would strike, or if it was just that my real life got in the way getting to know and care about fictional characters, but for whatever reason, it wasn't until I was well into listening to The Shepherd's Crown, that I was able to return to this novel. Am I ever thankful I could. 

All American Boys by Jason Reynolds & Brendan Kiely

The first chapter gave me trouble because I couldn't handle the violence. Having recently finished Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coats, I really wasn't surprised by what happened, but it was still hard to read.

I liked that Rasheed's story, while unique, was also representative of all these other young black people lost because of a racist system. I appreciated that Quinn was able to listen to other young black men and his own conscience. 

This would be an interesting book to pair with Bifocal by Deborah Ellis & Eric Walters. Here is an excerpt from it's goodreads summary.

"A student arrested on suspicions of terrorism. A high school torn apart by racism. Two boys from two different sets of circumstances forced to choose sides. 
These are the issues at the heart of "Bifocal," a groundbreaking new novel for young-adults. 

The story is told from two different points of view. Haroon is a serious student devoted to his family. His grandparents emigrated from Afghanistan. Jay is a football star devoted to his team. He is white. "

 

CURRENTLY

I'm a third of the way into The Wolf Wilder by Katherine Rundell.
 

UP NEXT

My Life on the Road by Gloria Steinem and Mr Lemoncello's Library Olympics are both on my ipod ready to listen to, but I haven't decided which one to start with. I've just picked up some books on coding for kids and Solving the Puzzle Under the Sea by Robert Burleigh, so hopefully I'll get to those this week.