It's no wonder that Amy Mattes' first novel has been nominated for the Giller Prize.
It is an exquisite read. Her lyrical prose is raw with emotion. At times I was overwhelmed by the heaviness of guilt and grief that permeates her words. It triggered memories of losses in my own life. I wept for Ines and myself. I ended up having to take a break from reading. When I returned, I finished the book in one sitting.
Ines' younger sister drowned when she was a preteen. Even though she's not responsible, she's taken on guilt for her death. Reflecting on her parent's grief, she says, "I took the shrapnel from their wounds and made it my own." In an attempt to escape her past, Ines leaves her small town in BC to travel across the country to Montreal and reinvent herself.
In Montreal she befriends a number of fascinating characters. There's April, a university student who pays for her education by doing camera sex work. She connects with Felix and Maria, two skateboarders who take her under their wing. Her meeting with Max, a skateboarding videographer, has an ethereal, almost mystical quality. Ines thinks she has finally found someone who can love her. While Max does love her to the best of his ability, when his mental health deteriorates, his behaviour becomes abusive.
Ines is offered a job working alongside April as a cam girl, but she's terrified someone back home will recognize her and can't handle it. She ends up quitting and getting a job in a kitchen in a French restaurant. As Max's mental health deteriorates, and Ines' drug use increases to the verge of addiction, she ends up losing that job. By the time she returns to working as a cam girl, she's stronger and has a goal in mind for her future.
Even if you've never visited Montreal, Amy Mattes descriptions of the city will make you feel like you are there, both physically and visually. "The city was swelling with a desire to freeze, purging the clouds of light and holding in."
Ines is a character I took into my heart. I ached for her. I feared for her. I rooted for her. I wanted to take her in my arms and tell her that it gets better. But of course, she has to learn all this for herself. In this brilliant coming of age tale, she ends up starting to do just this.
Mattes claims that the book is based on her own experiences. “All the different things in there are pulled from different people and experiences in my life. It’s inspired by my pilgrimage but not an accurate representation of it in a memoir sense.” She is now working on her second novel. I can't wait to read it.
Mattes claims that the book is based on her own experiences. “All the different things in there are pulled from different people and experiences in my life. It’s inspired by my pilgrimage but not an accurate representation of it in a memoir sense.” She is now working on her second novel. I can't wait to read it.
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