HOPE
Some
days I weep and scream [soundless] in the shower.
Today
I brood over how I might push through the pervasive disorientation of my
mother's brain.
I
am a miner, digging for meaningful conversations.
I
am a prospector, scavenging through the rubble left from a traumatic brain
injury and a body ravaged with cancer.
I
search for precious gems: memories to last the rest of my lifetime.
What
tools admit me into the heart of meaningful dialogue?
I
shape words into questions and conversation gambits and put them on a list.
- What
do you regret?
- Is
there anything you wish you had done differently?
- What
are you most proud of having accomplished?
- Is
there anything you didn't do that you wish you had had done?
- Who was the most influential person in your life?
I ignore the warning niggle.
I
refuse to contemplate that today might be another day when she is beyond any
kind of conversation, no matter how scrambled.
A
day where bloodied fingers scrabble in vain to remove rocks and debris,
and no hope of making a path for her to find her way out.
and no hope of making a path for her to find her way out.
Cheriee this must have been such a painful process but I bet you sometimes found some wonderful moments. So glad you are sharing here.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a powerful slice of what must be such a heart wrenching situation to have to handle...day after day. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
ReplyDeleteThis is such a powerful slice of what must be such a heart wrenching situation to have to handle...day after day. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.
ReplyDeleteVery powerful. What a terribly hard situation. I hope you find peace and some more happy memories to make with your mom.
ReplyDeleteSo many intense, evocative metaphors and -- all the while -- that little niggle. This piece of writing pulled me every which way.
ReplyDeleteCheriee, don't stop writing about this. It's good for you, even if it isn't always going to be easy for people to read. This writing thing will help you to process and understand and accept and feel. And when the topic gets to be too much, you will change the subject and write about whatever bubbles tot he surface at that moment. I spent a large amount of the month of March slice event doing the same about my own loving mother. Best thing I could ever do for myself...be well and best of luck. maribethbatcho.wordpress.com
ReplyDeleteYour piece is so moving. I believe the precious gems are there. You'll uncover them and present them to your mom. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteYour piece is so moving. I believe the precious gems are there. You'll uncover them and present them to your mom. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteLoosing a loved one causes one to question their life as well as your own. Be assured that your mother made a quilt for you of family and friends, wrap yourself in its comfort as you will do for yours
ReplyDelete